My Approach

My Approach to Therapy

I use a positive and collaborative approach, designed to help you create the kind of relationship you want.  I can help you make sense of what’s gotten you stuck, and offer tools and encouragement to help you grow. 

These are some of the key principles that guide my work:

• Intimate relationships are challenging. Every couple will come up against some issue they can't easily resolve.
  

• Struggle in your relationship is both necessary and useful.  Far from being a sign of things having "gone wrong", conflict and struggle are essential parts of growing a  strong and healthy relationship. Deep and lasting change cannot happen without it.  None of us have all the tools we need to make things better.

• Change does not come to us.  It is something we make. We find solutions when we’re ready and able to accurately name the problem.

• In relationships, effective change is often unilateral. One person working to move things in a positive direction can cause significant shifts in the whole system.
  

• No matter how challenging the issues you face as a couple, if one of you wants to try to turn things around, go ahead.  No matter the outcome, it will be worth the effort.

With help, you can develop the clarity, stamina and anxiety-management skills you need to talk and listen openly about issues that have seemed unapproachable and irresolvable, and to craft lasting solutions to even the most longstanding and challenging issues. 

If you want to have a better relationship, roll up your sleeves and go for it. No matter what kind of trouble your relationship is in.  No matter how discouraged you are.  You may have to work hard for it—but don’t let that stop you. You may be surprised to discover that by raising your standards for yourself, you live up to your own expectations.

Winifred M. Reilly, M.A., MFT, Berkeley, CA (510) 528-0802

 Sexuality • Intimacy • Conflict • Trust Issues • Commitment • Affairs